26 Apr 2026
The strange attractor of consciousness
Self-awareness allows us gain the insight of our own existence, but it also confuses us. Becoming aware of the own existence is an existential insight, and insights let us feel good. But the awareness is usually immediately followed by the awareness of the own mortality, and the own death feels certainly bad. The insight process itself is confusing. The biggest insight into the own existence seems to be linked to the largest confusion. Is the self a thought or a person? Can a thought be a person? Can my own thought be me? If we can understand our self, does it mean the fish is equal to the net that it catches (Ryle, 1949) ?
Let us take a short look at the society of mind, as Marvin Minsky called it. The mind is what the brain does to quote Marvin Minsky, and the purpose of the brain is primarily to move and control the body in order to fulfil the prime directive of the genes (which is survival and replication).
The sensory system and the motoric system is built of multiple connected layers, from the primary sensory cortex which perceives concrete sensations over higher regions to the primary motor cortex which triggers concrete actions. The fundamental unit of computation in the brain is the neuron, which are combined on a larger scale to neural assemblies. Neural assemblies are large populations of neurons which represent memories, concepts, words or ideas. Buzsáki (2019) argues that neuronal assemblies are the fundamental unit of communication in the brain. If we represent a neural assembly by a small actor or agent, then the picture looks like this:
The flow of information among the neural assemblies is not always smooth from the input to the output layers. It can drain in painful events or it can be reinforced in pleasureable experiences. Incongruities decrease it, insights increase it.
Pain and pleasure are tools of the genes helping the mind to act in the physical world. Pain is tool of self-protection. It is an unpleasant mental event which describes a physical event or this action sequence that is bad for the body, an event where the physical integrity of the body is violated or where the resources of the body are depleted. The loss of physical integrity is mirrored by a loss of “neural information flow”. A sink for neural flow is unpleasant, because it means an decreasing ability to act for the body. Pain signals the body to stop whatever is doing to avoid further loss.
Pleasure is the corresponding opposite tool of reward. It is a pleasant mental event describing a physical event which is “good” for the body, where the integrity of the body is restored or where the resources of the body are replenished. It can also mean that an internal prediction has successfully matched an external outcome or that an action sequence worked well. It signals the body to continue whatever is doing. We derive pleasure from gaining new knowledge in form of insights and gaining new nutrients by food intake. The gain of physical integrity is mirrored by a gain of “neural information flow”. A source for neural flow is pleasant, because it means an inccreasing ability to act for the body.
Pain corresponds to sink in the flow, pleasure to a source. If pleasure is an interruption-free flow which allows effortless action, then pain is an interruption of the flow which inhibits any action of the painful body part to prevent further damage. In general pain and painful thoughts cause a decrease in the flow of information, while insights and insightful thoughts cause an increase in the flow of information. Csikszentmihalyi coined the term “Flow” for a state of concentrated, mostly unconscious activities (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990).
If unconscious acting is like a flow, then consciousness must be like a whirl in the neural flow of information. Just as whirls in water disturb the continuous flow in one direction, consciousness disturbs the neural flow of information from the sensoric input to the motoric output. It leads to confusion and hesitation. “To be or not to be” thoughts cause us like Hamlet to hesitate in our actions. Self-consciousness is like a whirl in the stream of consciousness related to insight (I exist!) in confusion (who am I?) and belief (I think therefore I am!) in doubt (Is this me?).
Language can be a tunnel which allows us to access a different world, an abstract world of words which can connect the past and the future, the own self and the self as part of the environment or the current self and the future self. It allows us to recognize ourself as part of the environment and once we are getting used to this confusion it allows us to manipulate ourselves. It is this tunnel of self-consciousness between worlds which allows downward causation. This tunnel is constructed along the big insight of self-awareness: the perception of ourself as part of the environment. If we try to think about the nature of this connection we end naturally being confused. The walls of the tunnel are made of confusion.
Douglas Hofstadter argues in his book “I am a strange loop” that the “I” is not a mystical spark or a magical physical “thing” in the brain. He claims it is an abstract pattern that emerges when a system gains the ability to reflect upon itself. He might be right. I think neural activity during the moments of consciousness in self-awareness can be described as an insight in confusion, a whirl in the flow of neural information, a strange attractor which resembles the strange attractor we can observe in complex food chains. A classic food chain consists of plants at the bottom, carnivores at the top and herbivores in between, for examples wolves, sheep and grass or shark, tuna and plankton:
Food chain flow: Plants => Herbivores => Carnivores
Supply chain flow: Producer => Retailer => Consumer
In the brain we have a flow of information between the different cortical regions, starting in the sensory cortex all the way to the motor cortex. The state of self-consciousness is special, because it is characterized by many contradictions on multiple levels. The mind works by association. It links images to words by associating visual input with auditory input which represents the perception of the particular sounds for the words and motoric output which represents the production of words. Neural assemblies which are linked to each other activate each other. If we try to perceive a object by vision, neural assemblies which represent sensory input compete which each other like consumers in a food chain which consume the same resource.
We use metaphors every time we try to understand abstracts concepts, as Lakoff and Johnson described so well (Lakoff & Johnson, 1980). Metaphors are associations between groups of neural assemblies on a higher level.
If we begin to understand outself as part of environment we obtain on the one hand a fundamental insight, and gain access to a new world of reasoning. We can perceive and manipulate ourself as part of the environment. But on the other hand the price we have to pay is ultimate confusion, because in such a state of self-consciousness, an increasing number of contradictions appears: we recognize ourself, but we do not understand it. Nothing is more important than the self, and yet the self is only one among many in the environment: everything seems to equal nothing, relevance seems to equal irrelevance, and being seems to equal nothingness. To recognize yourself as a person identified by your name means to..
- ..become aware of one abstract name among many which is idendified as the self, but the self is also a full person including memories, dreams, hopes, fears, thoughts and ideas (everything is nothing)
- ..connect to the whole subjective world of my inner experience – but the name is just a small abstract part in the objective outside world (subjectiveness is objectiveness)
- ..recognize the own existence – but also to become aware of the end of the own existence (existence is nonexistence)
- ..become aware of the own being – but also to become aware that this being will end in nothingness (being is nothingness)
- ..to think of everything that matters to me – but also to be aware that a person is just one insignificant person among many (significance is insignificance)
These contradictions lead to oscillations between the different parts of the flow. First we have the usual oscillations that arise after an insight produces too much activation: sensation of the own name => perception of the idea of a “self” => new insight causes too much activity of the “self” => suppression of sensation in the primary sensory cortex by thalamic nuclei. In addition to this oscillation which accompanies all basic insights, there is inhibitory feedback from higher cortex regions which suppresses activity due to the mentioned contradictions. We have basically three major assemblies which interact which each other like the 3 species in a food chain:
1. Assembly: link between self as observer and self as part of environment (leads to exponential growth if not constrained by 2, similar to prey)
2. Assembly: thalamic nuclei which suppress too much activity from 1 (subject to exponential decay rate without activity from 1)
3. Assembly: activity in higher cortex regions which suppresses activity from 1 due to contradictions
This means the resulting dynamic activity should resemble the strange attractor we know from the three species predator prey model which is for example described in the book “Modeling Life” from Alan Garfinkel, Jane Shevtsov, and Yina Guo:
dx/dt = ax – bxy – gxz (Prey: exponential growth rate a without predators)
dy/dt = -cy + dxy (1. Predators: exponential decay rate c without prey)
dz/dt = -ez + fxz (2. Predators: exponential decay rate e without prey)
In a sense the self that we recognize in moments of self-awareness is the entire shape of the strange attractor. This does not mean that the “I” is shaped like a chaotic “teacup” attractor, but the attractor is probably a good model for the subjective experience.
Because the system is chaotic, you can never predict exactly where a “self-reflective” thought will end. One moment, the thought of your name leads to a feeling of significant importance and grounded identity; the next, it leads to the feeling of being an insignificant speck in the universe.
Code for this image generated by Gemini:
import numpy as np
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt
from scipy.integrate import odeint
from mpl_toolkits.mplot3d import Axes3D
def hastings_powell(state, t, a1, b1, a2, b2, d1, d2, r, K):
x, y, z = state
# Assembly 1: Self-identification (Prey)
dxdt = r * x * (1 - x/K) - (a1 * x * y) / (1 + b1 * x)
# Assembly 2: Thalamic Nuclei / Gating (Predator 1)
dydt = (a1 * x * y) / (1 + b1 * x) - (a2 * y * z) / (1 + b2 * y) - d1 * y
# Assembly 3: Higher Cortex / Contradiction Processor (Predator 2 / Top Predator)
dzdt = (a2 * y * z) / (1 + b2 * y) - d2 * z
return [dxdt, dydt, dzdt]
# Parameters known to produce the "Teacup" Strange Attractor
r, K = 1.0, 1.0
a1, b1 = 5.0, 3.0
a2, b2 = 0.1, 2.0
d1, d2 = 0.4, 0.01
# Initial state
state0 = [0.8, 0.2, 8.0]
t = np.linspace(0, 1000, 20000)
# Solve ODE
sol = odeint(hastings_powell, state0, t, args=(a1, b1, a2, b2, d1, d2, r, K))
x, y, z = sol[:, 0], sol[:, 1], sol[:, 2]
# Plotting
fig = plt.figure(figsize=(15, 6))
# 3D Phase Space Attractor
ax1 = fig.add_subplot(121, projection='3d')
ax1.plot(x, y, z, lw=0.5, color='teal')
ax1.set_xlabel('Self-Concept (x)')
ax1.set_ylabel('Thalamic Gating (y)')
ax1.set_zlabel('Cortical Reflection (z)')
ax1.set_title('The Strange Attractor of Self-Awareness')
# Time Series
ax2 = fig.add_subplot(122)
ax2.plot(t[-5000:], x[-5000:], label='Self-Concept (x)', alpha=0.8)
ax2.plot(t[-5000:], y[-5000:], label='Thalamic Gating (y)', alpha=0.8)
ax2.plot(t[-5000:], z[-5000:]/10, label='Cortical Activity (z/10)', alpha=0.8) # Scaled for visibility
ax2.set_xlabel('Time')
ax2.set_ylabel('Activity Level')
ax2.set_title('Neural Assembly Oscillations')
ax2.legend()
plt.tight_layout()
plt.savefig('strange_loop_attractor.png')
# Save data for user if needed
import pandas as pd
df = pd.DataFrame({'time': t, 'self_concept': x, 'thalamic': y, 'cortical': z})
df.to_csv('strange_loop_simulation.csv', index=False)
References:
– Marvin Minsky, The Society of Mind, Simon & Schuster, 1986
– Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow : the psychology of optimal experience, Harper Perennial, 1990
– George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, Metaphors we live by, University of Chicago Press, 1980
– Alan Hastings and Thomas Powell, Chaos in a Three-Species Food Chain, Ecology, Vol. 72, No. 3 (Jun., 1991), pp. 896-903
– Papadimitriou et al, Brain computation by assemblies of neurons, PNAS June 23, 2020 117 (25) 14464-14472
– Gilbert Ryle, The concept of mind, University Of Chicago Press, 1949.
– Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness, Routledge, 1943
– John Searle, Minds, Brain and Science, Harvard University Press, 1984
– Douglas Hofstadter, I Am a Strange Loop, Basic Books, 2007
– Alan Garfinkel, Jane Shevtsov, Yina Guo, Modeling Life – The Mathematics of Biological Systems, Springer, 2017
– György Buzsáki, The Brain from Inside Out, Oxford University Press, 2019
(Lightbulb image: Pixabay image from Arek Socha)
















