14 Jan 2009
I’m alive
SIMON: Don’t you ‘shhhh’ me. Eighteen years of total silence, and you ‘shhhh’ me! BRIAN: What? SIMON: I’ve kept my vow for eighteen years. Not a single, recognisable, articulate sound has passed my lips. BRIAN: Oh, please. Could you be quiet for another five minutes? SIMON: Oh, it doesn’t matter now. I might as well enjoy myself. The times in the last eighteen years I’ve wanted to shout and sing and… BRIAN: Shhhh. SIMON: …scream my name out! Oh, I’m alive! BRIAN: Shhh. SIMON: Hava Nagila! BRIAN: Shhh. SIMON: Hava Nagila! Hava Nagila, ha ha ha! Look out. Oh, I’m alive! I’m alive! Hello birds! Hello trees! I’m alive! Get off. I’m alive!
OFFICIAL: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer,… CROWD: Ooooh! OFFICIAL: …you are to be stoned to death. CROWD: Ahh! MATTHIAS: Look. I– I’d had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, ‘That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.’ CROWD: Oooooh! OFFICIAL: Blasphemy! He’s said it again!